Who I Am a& How I Got Here

 My name is Marie, and I am 28 years old. I live in Alberta, Canada. I have one beautiful daughter who shares my love of art, creativity and music. 

How did I get here? I don't mean in Alberta, I mean here writing this blog. Well, recently I had made a decision that I felt would not only be interesting to share, but may prove to be beneficial to others out there.

What decision, Marie?

To finally have another baby. But, I'm neither married or with a partner. I will be having a donor conceived baby, instead. Now, this is not a decision that I made lightly or in the spur of the moment. Considering I had to first overcome the fear (and admittedly, bitterness) that I dealt with during my first pregnancy (and the 2 years following). Yes, I'll be the first to admit it - it was no walk in the park. I had depression going in, and ended up with a great deal of post partum. 

But it wasn't my fault. 

I hope going forward, we all will be able to not only recognize mental illness, but both avoid and recover from it. Had I known to the extent of the issues I was facing, as well as the fact that there is no shame in asking for help whether from a prescription, a therapist, or otherwise I would have done things differently. 

You're a parent. 

It is absolutely important that you take care of yourself, to be a better person for your child(ren), yourself, and everyone else. Mental, physical, all of it.

I had to let go of a lot, to move forward. esepcially to this extent. Had you asked me whether or not I would have another baby, let's say, a year ago... Oh HELL no! I had been in an abusive relationship, my choices overrode, doctors not listening to me - especially with certain information that could have saved me a third degree hemorrhage and being on death's bed for 2 solid days - and don't forget the awful, toxic, manipulative people that were around at the time. I attributed my huge mess of emotions to being pregnant.  But through alternative therapy, I realized that the environment I was in caused a lot of those emotions to surface.

Single parent by choice

This is never an easy decision to make, nor is it one to take lightly. But I practically raised my first alone. The difference now? There isn't someone trying to control every aspect of our lives, from financial and emotional to educational and travel. It is just me. Just. Me. To some that might be scary, but to me it sounds rewarding and welcoming. I make the choices. I make the changes. I hold myself accountable. I don't have to worry about being cheated on, or having expectations placed on someone that could very well end up not being met. This isn't to say I'm anti-partnership, but with the past experiences I've had I just know that this is the choice for me. 

So if you've managed to read through all that, I hope you stick around to see me through this, and get a sneak peek of how my family is coping, creating, and of course expanding. 

- Love, Marie.